Transition is defined as “the passage from one state, stage or place to the next”, “an event that results in transformation”, or in music it’s “the passage moving from one key to another”. This made me think of the rites of passage that we transition in life… from infant to toddler, from child to teen to adult, from reliant to self-sufficient, from family to solo, from student to profession, from single to married, from individual or couple to family, from full-house to empty nest, from family home to retirement home, from career to retirement… some of these stages of our lives come with trepidation, some with great anticipation and excitement. All come with some form of adjustment.
My life has been in transition for the better part of the past year. I’ve been sitting with this word, reflecting on the states and stages and places that I’ve found myself during this passage. Transition involves change and transformation as I’ve crossed from one place to the next through choices and decisions, but also through setbacks and circumstances over which I had little or no control. There’s no going back and I will never be the same again. It involves rebuilding both my inner and my outer world as I make adjustments, become comfortable and settle into what the change is bringing about. Whilst on the whole I’m an optimistic, adaptable person, often seeking and instigating changes in my life, at this time I’ve found myself needing to process a whole lot more than usual on the inner conversation, and acknowledging the emotional reactions resulting from some of the setbacks and adjustments. It takes time, kindness, gentleness and patience with me, especially being comfortable in the in-between place, keeping perspective and balance….
I’ve taken inspiration from many sources, and especially these words from Byron Katie… All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.
My work as a coach involves facilitating my clients through their varying transitions, adjusting from one place to the next, one state or stage to the next, one choice to the next, and one goal to the next. Here are some resourceful frames and beliefs we’ve come across for managing states of mind during transitions that are challenging and take adjusting.
Setbacks are temporary “take stock” moments
Setbacks are like mirrors
This gives me time to rest and reflect
Challenges strengthen me
I respect my strength and resilience
I embrace the journey… all of it
I accept and celebrate what has been
I accept and celebrate what is new and yet to come
I welcome growth and change
It’s not about either-or, here or there… it’s about the power of AND, and BOTH
Where I’ve come from and where I’m headed are all part of the bigger journey of my unfolding
What frames and beliefs help strengthen you in your life transitions?